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Yesterday we went hiking. It was a spectacular day for a rich and rewarding challenge through the newly fallen snow. The trail in the Palgrave Forest area was well trodden with many human and animal footprints. Our feet added to the cacophony of disturbance to the fresh covering.
There were also bicycle tracks. There is an increased presence these days of wide-tired cycling in rougher terrain. People looking for thrills, chills, and challenges such as mountain cycling, clipped to the bike, on slippery surfaces such as snow and mud, takes skill and practice. This kind of sport challenges the body, mind, and soul. One person we met was loading up his bike and we stopped to have a quick chat. When he looked up, we noticed he had quite a gash under his right eye. Cringing, we asked if he’d had a spill and he shared how he and his riding partner had collided. In looking at him, I am certain the holiday pictures of 2021 will forever be a reminder of this fall as his eye will be black and blue in the days to come.
I spoke to a friend today who will jet off to northern Canada for the holidays. She is excited as she prepares to head into negative 46-degree temperatures and the home of the midnight sun. Travelling on the 21st of December, she will arrive in the north on the tipping point of our year when the earth begins its return to the light in the northern hemisphere. Her pictures and memories will also be soundly kept in pictures, both in her mind and print.
I continue to spend time with those who are bound in place. Travelling is in their mind and via technology. National Geographic and Discovery channels and, of course, YouTube can take us from the North Sea to the depths of the tropics, watching elephants and polar bears all from the comfort of our living room. Large screens allow for the feeling of swimming with the dolphins or soaring through the air with a parachute attached. We can feel we have travelled and when we recall these adventures, whether actually travelling or via watching, the unconscious mind does not know the difference.
Today in the comfort of my easy chair I can relive the hike I did yesterday, or the cycling I did last summer, or the trip to Ireland in 2019. I can also remember the experience of seeing the monkeys and elephants I witnessed through the eyes of David Suzuki as he shares his travels. The unconscious mind experiences these all in the same way. My memories can take me all places, some places I even forget I witnessed until something familiar sparks the journey.
In 2007 my friend and I went to meet his family in Port Credit. While I knew I had relatives there as a child, I had no idea where they had lived. I remember the journey from the backseat as a 10-year-old, when we drove to my aunt and uncle's home. I could not remember geographically where they were I just knew they were in Streetsville, which was close. My friend was driving and as he turned onto a street close to his parents, I had a sense of knowing. The feeling familiar and déjà vu . I said to him, “I’ve been here before!” There’s a park up ahead on the right.” And there it was. As we drove, I could remember things. We arrived at his parents’ house and had a visit. We recounted my phantom and arbitrary memories with little understanding, and they asked the name of my aunt and uncle. When I said, my friend, then took my hand and we went outside. We walked up the street, about three houses, around a corner and there was their home.
It turned out my friend’s parents backed onto my aunt and uncle. I went up and knocked on the door. Although my aunt and uncle were long gone, dying many years ago, my first cousin answered the door. While I could not have taken my friend to this house, my memory went there. It was surreal.
Our minds are so complex and able to do so much more than we realize. Much of it is far beyond understanding. The unconscious mind stores everything we see, hear, feel, smell and taste and when we think it is gone forever something familiar creates a spark to recall. While this travel was years ago in my child’s mind, it was there to recall. I could feel the presence of my family in this geographical area.
While our travel and movement are being restricted, maybe it is time we took advantage of our history, as community people, and remember what it is like to stay close to home. We can travel in our imagination via technology and have an experience like we are there, however we must remember what Dorothy discovered in her ruby red slippers. There is no place like home. We have been so busy running everywhere we have lost touch with that concept. When we are content to find happiness at home the rest of our life is the icing on the cake or the ruby in the slippers. Maybe it is time to see this oppressive movement control as a great energetic reminder, resetting us for a greater adventure to come. When we realize there is no place like home, the restlessness will settle, and the time will come again to venture out.
As I sat last night with my grandsons, we watched an old cartoon I had watched as a child. I relived sitting in my home with the 26” console floor model and my mother in the kitchen and my dad in his reading chair. I travelled in my mind back to a location where I had been before. It was just like a movie, and could have been something I saw on a Hallmark Christmas movie; however, I choose it as my memory and a comforting thought. It does not matter how real or unreal it is. I travelled in my mind back to where I was when I watched this show 50 years ago. I cherish these times when there was no place like home.
On our hike, in our local community, we moved from well-travelled paths into areas where the snow had not been disturbed. No fresh footprints in the newly fallen crystals. While the snow was fresh, new, and undisturbed, like the cartoon, I harked back to when we travelled it this past fall. What happiness I felt, seeing it again. Like my cousin standing in the door and the memory of my childhood living room or the pictures on a screen of Shetland Island (where I have never gone) I find comfort in remembering.
Using my memory to find comfort daily outshines the restrictions and the lost can be rekindled. How are you living each day as we are in challenging times? It is up to you to choose to be happy and build community with those around you. At this time of year, heading into a fresh start, file good memories to be first and foremost recalled. Challenge yourself to build community and spiritually reach out to others.
Cynthia Breadner is a grief specialist and bereavement counsellor, a soul care worker and offers specialized care in Spiritually Integrated Psychotherapy with special attention as a cognitive behavioral therapy practitioner and trauma incident resolution facilitator. She volunteers at hospice, works as a LTC chaplain and is a death doula, assisting with end-of-life care for client and family. She is the mother part of the #DanCynAdventures duo and practices fitness, health and wellness. She is available remotely by safe and secure video connections, if you have any questions contact her today! [email protected] breakingstibah.com
