Testing, testing 1,2,3… Have you ever been the host or master of ceremonies or a singer who needed to test a microphone? The sound technicians always say, “testing, testing, test 1,2,3” or ask you to say something. Some people say “hello” or “my name is …” or often will say, “I don’t know what to say!” which is essentially saying something and ends up being sufficient. The test is complete.
Sometimes after these kinds of tests, the event goes to start and the system does not work or malfunctions and the test seemed moot because the process must be started over again making the pre-testing feel untrustworthy, so why bother? Is testing necessary?
How about exams, quizzes and tests at school. Teachers and school boards have this measuring tool in place to rate and score students. Like the microphone test what happens when it malfunctions and when needed the testing proves failure? Some students test well because they really know and like the content. Others, not so well, because they do not know or like the content. Some know the content yet do poorly on tests because of text anxiety or the inability to comprehend the written word. Others do poorly because they just are unable to fully show up for the test. By showing up I mean physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
These questions were all prompted by a surf through my social media feed this morning. I found a post that asked me to upload a picture, not a screenshot, and then to put the instructions on my own feed. The test was to see if I could 1) follow instructions and 2) to see if I was really their friend. This was stated clearly: “If you don’t leave a picture, you’re not as close to me as I thought.” And then the post completed with: “Watch - no one will follow directions.” How silly is this test of friendship and an ability to follow directions?
It angered me to be put in this position. While I have not physically seen this person, the original poster, for quite sometime, I do call them a friend and I also consider myself a good person to follow instruction. So how is it a post on social media can be the test or the measure of either of these important values in my life? How is it a silly social media post can bring into question two important pieces of how I live my life, with integrity and in true friendship?
As I ran the anger gamut, I asked myself what does it say that it is bothering me so? Why can I not just scroll past and let it go? Why am I letting this post raise the question, “am I a good friend?” and “do I do as I am told, follow direction?” Such is the human plight, that we let external actions of others cause us to question our heart and soul.
In the movie Avatar (2009), there was a lingering statement that was used for quite some time after the film had fell from popularity. As the animated characters met each other they would greet with the words, “I see you.” And these three words deeply touched and fulfilled the other. Then the other would repeat them back. In the Christian tradition, I equate this to “peace be with you” and the reply is “also with you.” In the Muslim tradition they say, “Assalamu Alaikum” meaning peace to you and is a common greeting in Arabic. These are not tests or measurements they are greetings of fulfillment. They do not question your values or mission and do not measure your depths of care for another.
When we question our core values or let frivolous posts cause us to question, we lose sight of our soul. Spirituality is an inextricable human connection, according to Brene Brown, and when we post we might ask ourselves is this post building people up or causing them to question the very core values they live by. If a friend needs me to post a picture on their feed to prove my friendship or repost to my own feed to prove I follow direction I question my need to be on social media alongside such soul searing challenges.
What core values and deep purpose are you ignoring to live as you are living? What gets teased and niggled angrily by a test of your virtue? I know I am a good friend and while I was annoyed at this post on social media this Sunday morning, I could say to myself, “I am not posting a picture to prove anything, nor am I sharing content AND I know neither are a reflection of my love for this person.” How do you let silly things in your day chip away at you living your best life? When do you allow other’s insecurity to overflow into your life? Happily, most days I live a life closely reflecting my purpose, mission and values, yet I will admit sometimes I get caught in the web of questioning and must sort it out! How about you? When do you look at the test for its true value and see it has little value for testing anything!
#breakingstibah
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Cynthia Breadner is a teacher, author, grief specialist and bereavement counsellor; a soul care worker and offers specialized care in spiritually integrated therapies. She works as a LTC chaplain assisting with end-of-life care for client and family. She is the mother part of the #DanCynAdventures duo and practices fitness, health and wellness. She is available remotely by safe and secure video connections, if you have any questions contact her today! [email protected] breakingstibah.com
