“Peace be with you! And also with you.”
Those of you who have travelled in faith community circles, gathering on a Sunday morning may remember the “trend” where the group would be invited during the gathering to “pass the peace”. This invitation, with good intent, was meant to intermingle the group and encourage each person to take a moment with every other person in the community. As a leader, I observed so many challenges with this practice in so many ways.
First, long before the most recent pandemic times, I remember watching people as they would reluctantly hold out their hand multiple times to a plethora of many people. Their discomfort would be palatable, and they would struggle to share a few hands, saving face and then discretely sit back down. There would be the tissue-carrying person, who would move a bundled-up tissue from one hand to the other, and then extend the hand that had held said tissue, and I would watch as the receiver would uncomfortably receive.
Second, would be the “elbow bumper”, who as they bumped would proclaim loudly how sick they had been and did not want to spread their germs, all the while proclaiming “peace be with you” while bumping their way along to each and every person.
Third, there were the huggers who, despite the reluctance of others would grab and hug before one could react or stop the invasion, all while speaking moistly onto the cheek and into the ear “peace be with you”, then releasing before moving on to the next unsuspecting 'victim'.
Fourth, there is the introvert or the newcomer, who tried so hard to become beige like the pew in hopes of fading into the background and go unnoticed. They would sit quietly while the “regulars” went about their passing. There was always that one over-welcomer who would stride all the way to the back corner seat, hand leading the way to be sure this lost sheep was not left out, or heaven forbid, be missed in this ritual of welcoming and peace passing!
Then there was the ‘worrier’ who, once the leader could re-corral the few and bring back order and attention, would spend the remaining part of the service wondering who they had missed. This ‘worrier’ would make note and when service was complete, quickly stand up and go directly, not passing GO or collecting their $200, and make apologies and excuses as to why they were missed in the passing of this peaceful time.
Heavy Sigh! It got so bad that when I visited various communities, as a guest (and I visited many) I would pass the piece, literally. I would pass the piece of the service, claiming “oopsy” should I be reminded I missed it at the conclusion. This accidentally-on-purpose action was often thanked and winks were shared by one of the above-named groups over coffee! This always got me thinking that “passing of the peace” was truly not very peaceful.
For those of you still reading, and yet, wondering what it is I am referring to, this trend of “passing the peace” was where everyone would mingle, shake hands, and say, “Peace be with you” while the response was “and also with you”. The guesswork always was who started and did you say it back and forth to each person you greeted? This practice often culminated into chaos, disruption, and conversation that made it hard to bring this unruly group of peace givers back to the task at hand which was, “worship”.
You may be reading along and wonder what brought this up? I have not been to worship for years and any chance to be a guest leader in a faith community has been at least 18 months in the past. However, today in a text I was prompted to say to the recipient “may you have peace in your day”, and I meant it. We were to have a Zoom meeting and she needed to change the plan because of the chaos in her morning. From the bottom of my heart, my friend was dealing with some troubling stuff and I truly only wanted to offer her some peace in her life. I wished I could be close enough, with permission, to hug her and say, with all earnest, “Peace be with you!”
I could sense and feel she was lacking peace in her life and needed it to be laid upon her like a warm blanket in the cold of winter, or to be gathered in like a mother hen with the sweep of her feathered wing, or to feel like she was being immersed into a warm bath to rest her weary bones. Peace is a feeling of contentment, a place of comfort, and the result of hard work to escape emotional turmoil.
Peace is a piece of the moment. Peace is a piece of the divine comforter that is spread over the resting space of the soul. Peace is a state of mind that we must witness to wish it for others. Peace is a verb, and action of the whole, and where we choose to live. When one lives life peacefully it is with contentment that in each moment, we are okay, no future or past thoughts invading this sacredness we call peace. To find peace is to find the root source of our reason for being here on this earth, poking our head out of a one-inch pipe to see the concrete jungle around us. Like the little plant in my photo today, to find peace is to exist where those, looking upon us, wonder how we do it! And we simply stand and grow in peacefulness because we can, because no one told us otherwise. Like the bumblebee, whose weight of the body is greater than the wings can hold, we fly on unbeknownst we cannot.
I was told this week that my accomplishments are “impressive” and for that compliment I am grateful, however, nothing about me is impressive to the divine source, other than my willingness to keep going and surrender into a call to being at peace with my soul. If I am to bask in the compliments, then I lose sight of the peace in my heart, because I bask in a piece of my ego! As I impress myself with my own desire to grow deeper roots and stand like this wee plant in a world that feels so concrete, I do so with a knowing that the roots of our fruitfulness go into the earth under the rigidness of the surface upon which we live. The roots feed the foliage and it is with courage we grow and reach, finding peace in simply being where we are.
Are you passing the peace in your life with conditions, concerns, and fears? Are you living piece-meal instead of peace-filled? As you find peace in your life are you granted permission to be peaceful, therefore having peace to pass on to others? From my roots to yours, in the collective earthly darkness, from my foliage to yours, from the fruits of my work to the seeds of your desire, I pass you peace.
May peace be with you every day of your life! And I hear you say, “and also with you!” Thank you for your kindness.
Cynthia Breadner is a grief specialist and bereavement counsellor, a soul care worker and offers specialized care in Spiritually Integrated Psychotherapy with special attention as a cognitive behaviourial therapy practitioner and trauma incident resolution facilitator. She volunteers at hospice, works as a LTC chaplain and is a death doula, assisting with end-of-life care for client and family. She is the mother part of the #DanCynAdventures duo and practices fitness, health and wellness. She is available remotely by safe and secure video connections, if you have any questions contact her today! [email protected] breakingstibah.com
